🔗 Share this article Nighttime Comics Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Program Television's top hosts spent the evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's newly launched immigration program, called the "gold card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access system for the affluent. The Late Show's Witty Take Starting his show, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... spoils each thing he comes into contact with." The focus was the controversial initiative which enables international citizens to acquire U.S. residency for a sum of a million dollars, or "platinum" tier for five million. The program's website guarantees processing "faster than ever." "A brief thought here to wealthy foreigners: before you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped. He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "extract cash" from firms wanting to hire skilled workers, with hefty fees. "That is a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he added. "The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people completely meet the standard to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card." "It's a card that will let wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection." "It might be time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked. Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare." "That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Concerns On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll ratings during financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he noted. This week, in a attempt to address cost of living, Trump held a briefing in front of a display of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages." "Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's financial record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.
Television's top hosts spent the evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's newly launched immigration program, called the "gold card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access system for the affluent. The Late Show's Witty Take Starting his show, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas tune directed at the commander-in-chief. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... spoils each thing he comes into contact with." The focus was the controversial initiative which enables international citizens to acquire U.S. residency for a sum of a million dollars, or "platinum" tier for five million. The program's website guarantees processing "faster than ever." "A brief thought here to wealthy foreigners: before you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped. He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "extract cash" from firms wanting to hire skilled workers, with hefty fees. "That is a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he added. "The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people completely meet the standard to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card." "It's a card that will let wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection." "It might be time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked. Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare." "That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Concerns On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's plunging poll ratings during financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he noted. This week, in a attempt to address cost of living, Trump held a briefing in front of a display of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal. "These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages." "Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's financial record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.